


Traumatic

by Vargras



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Mòrag for best foster big sister, how come no one ever talks about how supportive Mòrag is of Rex, implied OT3 of Rex/Pyra/Mythra, you guys disappoint me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 03:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vargras/pseuds/Vargras
Summary: The Special Inquisitor of Mor Ardain lets few things past her sight.Not the least of which include the mental and emotional rigors of war.





	Traumatic

The last few days had certainly been… something. No doubt it’d all be documented in the annals of history, her name right alongside everyone else's, all of them mentioned as heroes and saviors. She disliked the label. Honorifics such as those were unbecoming of her station, as she often saw it -- ‘Special Inquisitor’ typically sufficed. Yet the collapse of the World Tree had brought with it a fresh set of issues, many of which only _she_ seemed capable of seeing.

It troubled her.

She had kept a close eye on them since Azurda had landed back on solid ground. Uraya had been the first stop, and they had all decided it was best to simply travel together a while longer, with the various individuals within their group parting ways as they all reached their respective countries. Zeke and Pandoria had been the first to leave, followed by Nia, Dromarch, Tora, and Poppi. Mor Ardain was quickly approaching, and she knew it was only a matter of time before she and Brighid would part ways with Rex, Pyra, and Mythra. Temporarily, of course, as none of them had any intentions at all of truly severing ties, but… there were matters to attend to. Citizens and reconstruction efforts to oversee. Friendly get-togethers would have to wait till another time, it would seem. But not tonight.

It puzzled her as to how no one else could see what she had, how no one could see the acute amounts of pain and suffering that her friends were enduring and constantly trying to keep pressed beneath the surface. She knew why they did what they did -- he, in particular, had never been one to want to worry others.

And _that_ was precisely why she now worried about Rex… and Pyra and Mythra. The changes had been incredibly subtle at first, little more than nervous tics present in ways that used to not be. Rex scratched the back of his neck. Pyra would wring her hands together. Mythra would entangle her fingers in her own hair. It didn’t take much longer for her to see that things ran _far_ deeper than she had initially suspected. Pyra and Mythra seemed skittish at times, getting irritable and anxious if separated from Rex for any length, and during stops along the road, they would mumble in their sleep and desperately cling to their Driver. Rex fared slightly better, but only just -- the boy was having more and more trouble sleeping, also struggled if he was away from Pyra and Mythra at all, and had picked up the most peculiar sense of anxiety over _bridges_.

She… supposed that last one did make sense, in its own sad way. The whole matter of affairs had left her deeply concerned about the three of them, and it was why she now stood right outside his door within the inn they had stopped at for the night.

A deep sigh, and then a gentle knock on the door. There was the faint sound of footsteps within, and she felt her own heart pick up in pace as the knob turned, slowly opening to reveal a bleary-eyed Rex within a darkened room.

He simply blinked at her, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as best he could. The woman before him was… dressed surprisingly casual, with her hair down in a manner he _definitely_ was not accustomed to. No doubt she had been getting ready for bed herself. “...Mòrag?”

“Apologies, Rex. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No no, just… was checking maps and trying to figure out some stuff.” It was a half-lie -- he had indeed fallen asleep at his desk while looking over those very same maps. “You need something?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Do you mind if I come in? I’d like to speak with you.”

“I, uh… much as I’d love to, Mòrag, it’s just… Pyra and Mythra are asleep right now, and I don’t want to wake them.”

She smiled gently at him -- the depths of which he cared for the two girls had been readily apparent, and it warmed her heart to see it each and every time. Ever since their revival, he had constantly put himself in positions that she knew had been detrimental to his own well-being if it meant helping them in some way. Ever the selfless one, that one. “I’ll be as quiet as can be, Rex. You have my word.”

The door opened a little wider, just enough for her to enter, and even as she made her way inside, the boy was already in the process of pulling up another chair at the table, a singular candle being the only light in the room. If it meant that the Aegises could sleep more soundly, it was better this way. Her eyes would adjust to the dark in due time. Rex gestured towards a seat, which she quickly took, faintly smiling back at him as he elected to take the one closest to his Blades. He had already lowered his own voice to a whisper, leaning forward somewhat as he eyed her. “So what’s this talk about?”

She followed in kind, lowering her voice as much she could whilst still being understandable. “I… wished to check on the three of you. Much as I hate to say it, I’ve admittedly been worried.”

“Worried? About us?”

“Your conditions, Rex. You, Pyra, and Mythra. I… know perhaps better than any other that the most grievous wounds of war are the ones you cannot see. I’ve seen countless men head off to war and come back, only to never be the same as when they first left.” She frowned somewhat, her brow furrowing. “The body is easily mended, but the mind and heart… are not so resilient.”

He scowled a bit, absentmindedly scratching at the back of his neck as he glanced over at the maps strewn across the table before him. “Yeah...”

“So you’ve... seen it too, then.”

His voice was barely audible the second time around. “...yeah.”

Mòrag’s own gaze soon shifted over towards the bed, to the resting forms of Pyra and Mythra. Even in the midst of their own sleep, and within the dark confines of the room, she could see them huddled close to one another. Her own expression soured somewhat. “...How have they been doing?”

Rex sighed, leaning against the table and propping up his own head with an arm. “Could be better… could be worse. They’re…” He grimaced, moving a palm to hide his own eyes. “They’re struggling so much, I can tell, and I just… don’t know _how_ to help them, Mòrag.”

“You’re already doing as much as you can, Rex.”

“Am I, though?”

She placed a hand upon his shoulder, doing her best to try and comfort him. “ _Yes_ , you are.”

He simply huffed in frustration, turning his entire body towards the table as he cradled his head within his hands. “I don’t _feel_ like it. Every time I take a look at them, and see them wild-eyed and on the verge of panicking, or crying and gasping for breath as they wake up from a nightmare, I… feel like I’m _failing_ them, Mòrag. Again and again. It keeps happening, and seeing them like that just…”

“It... breaks your heart, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Rex nodded, his hands bunching up into fists. “It does. I promised I would protect them and make sure nothing ever happened to them again, and just… I feel like I’m letting them down. I’m their _Driver_ , Mòrag. I’m supposed to keep them safe, and yet--”

“You feel like you aren’t.” She gingerly reached over towards him, placing a hand upon his shoulder once more and leaning in closer. “Rex, I promise you that you’re already doing everything you can for them, and more. Simply being around them and being there for them has done tremendous things for their health, and you’re quite possibly one of the best Drivers I’ve _ever_ witnessed in my entire life, if not _the_ best -- never have I seen someone care for their Blades as much as you have. It’s inspiring, truly.”

His own hands slowly dropped until they rested upon one of the maps, and after a pause, he slowly turned to look at her. “Thanks, it’s just… I wish I could do _more_ for them. They’re hurt, and--”

“Damaged.”

Rex blinked a bit at her. “...damaged?”

“Mentally and emotionally. The scars are there. They’ve both been through so much throughout their long lives, and it’s finally caught up to them. The way they’ve talked since their resurrection, the way they’ve acted… you can feel it too, can’t you?” She struggled a bit with her next few words, unsure if they were even the right ones to use. “Their… fear.”

The boy slumped a bit in his seat upon hearing those words, and she very quickly began to worry if perhaps she had chosen wrong. His response was incredibly hushed, wringing his hands together. “...yeah. I feel like I can see it in their eyes sometimes.”

“They’re afraid of losing you, Rex. Surely you saw the signs yourself, the way they always calm down when you’re around, and how they only sleep soundly if you’re close by?” Mòrag sighed, withdrawing her hand and leaning right beside him. “You are their guiding light... they’d be lost without you. No matter what, you mustn't ever abandon them.”

“Mòrag, you know I would never do anything like that.” He almost looked mildly offended that she would even dare insinuate something like that. She couldn’t blame him.

“I know, and I’m sorry for trying to imply otherwise. Just… you need to _understand_ , Rex. This is something that will never truly go away for either of them. They’ll heal, in due time, but the trauma will always be there beneath the surface.” With her hands upon her lap, she clenched them together, squeezing tight enough to feel her nails dig into her own palms. “It’s truly insidious. Something always lurking, waiting for the opportunity to come rushing back and to drag them back down below. You _need_ to be there for them in those times, to be the beacon in their lives that can help guide them back home… to safety. To normalcy. You must always be vigilant, Rex.”

He nodded. “I… I know, Mòrag. I’ve got every intention of making sure nothing bad ever happens to them again.”

Mòrag simply smiled and gave a half nod. “I have no doubt that you’ll do just that. Though, that now leads into my next question, which is… how are _you_ doing?”

“M-Me?” Rex had a hand on the back of his neck again, reclining in his chair somewhat. “I’m fine.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Rex. Be honest, please.”

“I… alright then. Um. I…” He grimaced, bringing his hands up to cover his own face and sighing deeply. “I’m… not as okay as I like to think I am. I’m trying to be strong though, for Pyra and Mythra. They’re just… in a rough spot right now, and they need someone they can depend on to keep them steady on their feet. And I… don’t really want to worry anyone either.”

“ _Rex_.” Mòrag had placed a hand back on his shoulder again, drawing him a bit closer to herself. “I _already_ worry about you. If it’ll help at all, please tell me what’s been on your mind. At your own pace.”

“Er, well.” Rex was actively chewing on his own lip now, no doubt another nervous tendency. “I… guess you’ve already noticed the uh… ‘bridge thing’, knowing you.”

“I have.”

“Right, it’s just… every time we get to one now, I just feel like I’m right back at the World Tree. Everything else feels like it just melts away, and it’s me on one side and Pyra and Mythra on the other. And I _know_ they’re right there, and I can reach them, but I just… freeze up.”

“Because you’re scared.”

His voice dampened somewhat, quieter this time. “Yeah.”

She peered at him. “What else?”

“I… when I close my eyes sometimes, like when I’m trying to sleep, I… can see it all over again.”

“...’it’?”  
  
“The collapse. The explosion. Just watching it all fall to pieces, and knowing that Pyra and Mythra were in there and that they’re not coming back, _feeling_ that connection be cut entirely.” His face scrunched up, fresh tears beginning to well in his eyes. “...I should have been there with them, Mòrag. All the way to the end. I still feel like I abandoned them to that.”

The woman blinked at him, surprised by his words. “...you’d have rather _died_ alongside them?”

“If… I knew for sure that there was no coming back for them, then yes. Yes I would.” Rex rubbed at his own eyes with an arm, sniffling faintly. “...they shouldn’t have had to go through that alone.”

“Rex, they _wanted_ you to survive.”

“I know!” He huffed, shutting his eyes and leaning back in his seat. “...I know. It’s just… hard to imagine life without them, and after everything they both did for me, I… didn’t really _want_ to think of a life without them.”

She shook her head somewhat, doing her best to give him a smile as she gently squeezed his shoulder. “And I’m sure they felt the same, yet they wanted you to live above all else. That, and… you were their own escape plan, were you not? Giving their core crystal to you like that.”

“I… I guess.”

“In making sure you survived, they too were able to survive, and now here you all are. Together. And I have no doubt that none of you three will ever let the others out of your sight ever again, hm?”

His own expression brightened somewhat, faintly smiling as he blankly eyed a chart. “Yeah...”

“Rex, you need to remember, you mustn't be afraid to talk to them about how _you’re_ feeling too. Your own well-being is just as important as theirs. I know you’re merely trying to act as their rock, but a rock isn’t terribly dependable if it has its own fair share of cracks.” Mòrag let out a breath, drawing her hand back to herself and leaning back within her seat. “You know, Rex… you’re not the only one who wishes they could have done more.”

“Mòrag?”

“I… Mm, no. I apologize, Rex. All this talk of emotions and the like is merely bringing things to mind that need not be discussed. That’s all.”

He squinted at her, leaning in her direction as he fought to keep his voice to a minimum, if only for the sake of the sleeping Aegises. “...Mòrag, if you’ve been sitting here listening to me talk about _my_ feelings, it’s only fair that I do the same for you. Now c’mon. Out with it.”

Her own expression soured somewhat. She _really_ did not care much for discussing such frivolities as her own _feelings_ with others, but… Rex had her cornered now. It wasn’t that she didn’t wish to talk about them with the boy, she did trust him with her life after all, but she just wasn’t used to talking about them. With anyone. _At all_. “Erm… v-very well. I, um… this uh… may sound a tad bit awkward, but… you remind me of Niall often.”

“I do? Really?”

“Yes… you remind me of him a lot, in almost every way imaginable. Both good and bad.”

Rex leaned a bit closer to her, propping himself up with an arm as he looked at her -- he’d had his own fair share of encounters with the Emperor of Mor Ardain, but it wasn’t often to be told directly about him by his older sister. “Like what?”

“Well, let’s see. Starting with the good, I suppose… you’re kind and compassionate beyond words, often offering forgiveness and aid to those whom no other would ever think to do so. You’re… wise beyond your years on many an occasion, acting and speaking in a manner that could make just about anyone listen to you intently. But, I think… perhaps more important than anything else, is your sense of duty… and valor.”

“Valor? _Me_?”

“But of course. After all, who else could face off against such daunting odds time and time again, never willing to back down or give up? You’ve faced off against the very end of the _world_ , Rex, staring at it unflinchingly until _it_ blinked. All of it because you made a promise to a very special girl that you scarcely knew.” She smiled, taking a hand and playfully ruffling his hair. “Never did I expect to see someone capable of such extraordinary things, and I foresee even more in the future. You live up to your name, truly.”

“Yeah?” He peered at her expectantly. “I um… gotta admit, I don’t know what it means.”

“...is that so?” Mòrag allowed herself the rare opportunity to faintly laugh at that, giving him a grin. “It means ‘king’, in an ancient tongue.”

“‘King’? Seriously? You… think I could be a king or something?”

“You have the makings of one, certainly. I think you’d make for a great king, given your own demeanor.”

The boy chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “I appreciate the thought, but… no. I can’t see myself ruling anything. It’s just not for me.”

“I thought you’d say as much.”

“Yeah, well… you said there was… bad stuff too? That you saw in me and made you think of Niall?”

Her own thoughts cut short, she lightly clicked her tongue. “Mm. I will say that it’s not necessarily _you_ , but rather… everything else that’s happened to you. In you, I see a boy forced to grow up far too soon, never truly having a childhood of his own. You… lost your parents at such a young age, and spent most of your early years helping tend to those around you. Even now, despite barely being in your teenage years, you were essentially living on your own and sending money back home to support those you cared for. And now… here we are. Scarcely fifteen years old, and you had the fate of the entire _world_ thrust upon you, and despite all of it… you asked for _nothing_ in return.”

“I mean… I was just doing what I thought was right. That’s all.” He let his arm slowly fall, landing on the table with a quiet _thud_. “I made a promise to Pyra, that I was going to take her to Elysium, and that was just sort of… the end of it.”

“...ever the selfless one, aren’t you?” Mòrag sighed, turning to face him, and her own expression almost appeared to be one of… sorrow. “The boy with nothing who was willing to give everything. Time and again, the world asked more and more of you, and you simply… never balked. Never backed down. You’re truly the best of us, Rex, and the lot given to you in life was… undeserved, I feel.”

He blinked at her. “...Mòrag?”

“You shouldn’t have had to go through all that you have in life. To be robbed of your parents, your childhood, and then to have so much entrusted to you all at once. It’s… an incredible burden to try and shoulder on your own. I simply wish I could have done more to help. I’m… the adult, after all. It should be _my_ responsibility to--”

“Mòrag, I appreciate it, but I’m not _that_ young, and… honestly, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything else. After everything that’s happened to me, it’s helped me learn how to do so many different things, taken me to different places, met different people. It’s helped me appreciate all the things that I _do_ have. Like you.”

She was certainly taken aback by that, her mouth agape as she brought a hand to her chest. “Rex, that’s… that’s very kind of you, but--”

“No ‘but’s, Mòrag. You did plenty to help me through it all... I couldn’t have done it without you or anyone else.” He gave her that signature smile of his, and she could have sworn he winked somewhat. “We’re a team, remember? And friends.”

At that, she had a smile of her own. “But of course, Rex. It’s awfully hard to forget such a thing with you around.”

“I’d hope so.” He turned around in his chair somewhat, glancing over his shoulder at Pyra and Mythra, as if to check on them. They still seemed fast asleep, albeit with some faint mumbling here and there, and the two sisters held one another in their arms, fiercely determined not to let the other go.

Mòrag had caught where his gaze was at and followed it over, smiling as she did. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she spoke softly. “So… when are you planning on asking them?”

“...asking?” Rex turned back to face her, quirking a brow. “Asking what?”

“Oh, you know… _that_.”

“What? _Oh_!” The boy suddenly had a rather sheepish grin, and even in the dim candlelight, she could easily tell he was blushing. “I um… well…”

How Rex felt for Pyra and Mythra, and they for him, was quite possibly one of the worst kept secrets now. The signs had all been there, of course, all throughout their travels -- it had been rather obvious to both herself and Brighid, but the two of them had elected not to say anything on the matter. It was a private affair, after all, and not up for discussion. But the surprising revival of the two sisters after the destruction of the World Tree had lead to a flurry of emotions, not the least of which included some rather shocking confessions of love. It had all been done with the three of them fully aware that everyone could both see and hear what was going on, and yet no one had dared to judge them for it. After all they had endured, they deserved this happy moment. Still, it had seemed odd for the three of them to declare their love for one another, and yet not immediately pursue anything else. It puzzled her at times.

He absentmindedly scratched at a cheek, looking rather bashful but still speaking clearly. “I’ve… been meaning to, but I’ve been holding off for a reason.”

“Oh? And why might that be?”

“Well… you said it yourself, Mòrag. They’re… fragile. They need time to heal, and recover, and… asking them something like that almost feels like I’d be taking advantage of them and how their emotions are right now.” Rex shook his head slightly, as if to drive home the point. “It wouldn’t be right of me.”

“I see.” To that, she gave him a warm smile, and a gentle pat on the back. “They’re in very good hands then… and I believe I already know what their own answer will be, when you do decide to ask them.”

“Yeah? And what might that be?”

“...that they’d be fools to turn you down. And the Pyra and Mythra I know are no fools.” Mòrag decided now was an appropriate time to take her leave -- she had been here long enough and gotten the answers she had originally sought out. Standing slowly so as to not disturb the resting Aegises, she quietly pushed the chair back in and made her way for the door.

Unbeknownst to her, Rex had quickly followed after her, eager to at least see her on her way. “You leaving?”

“Indeed. I believe I’ve gotten all I came for, and the hour grows late. We still have more traveling to do tomorrow as well.” She slowly turned the doorknob and opened it, allowing the light from the hallway to spill in a bit. The woman had barely taken a step outside the door before just as quickly turning about to face her companion. “...thank you for speaking with me, Rex. Truly.”

“Oh, sure! Not a problem at all, Mòrag. Always happy to help a friend.”

There was that warm smile of his again, the one she knew all too well. It always warmed her heart to see. In response, she gave him a smile of her own, and gestured somewhat towards the bed with a slight wave of her hand. “Go on now. They’re waiting for you, and you need to rest. We can’t have the ‘Hero of Alrest’ stumbling about on his feet, can we?”

He faintly groaned at that. “Mòrag, please! No titles!”

“No? Not even ‘King Rex’?”

“Mòrag!” He was quietly laughing by now, doing his best to both hide a grin and keep quiet -- he certainly didn’t want to wake Pyra or Mythra, but it was a very rare treat indeed to be offered a joke by the Special Inquisitor of Mor Ardain. “Sheesh… good night, Mòrag.”

With a faint grin of her own, she added a little extra flourish to a bow. “Good night, your majesty.”

Rex simply rolled his eyes at her as he shut the door, and she could hear him quickly snuff out the candle and crawl into his bed alongside the Aegises. With her task complete, it was time for some rest of her own, but only after briefing Brighid on what had transpired -- no doubt her Blade would be prodding her for the details anyways.

Even as she headed back down the hallway to her own room however, she allowed herself one more little laugh. The ‘King Rex’ at the end, as well as the flourish and ‘your majesty’ line? Zeke was rubbing off on her, it seemed. How absolutely dreadful.

 _But_ , she admitted, _surprisingly fun_.

 _Perhaps I should do this more often_.


End file.
